The ABCs of Married In Ohio
Age of Mythology: The Titans Expansion - Our favorite computer game.

Braless boobs - California Girl’s usual state.

Cunnilingus - Oral sex for California Girl.

Diaphragm - A primitive, evil but necessary device.

Electronic Gadgets - If it has a microprocessor and runs on electricity, Midwestern City Boy has it or wants it.

Fellatio - Oral sex for Midwestern City Boy.

Gynol II Contraceptive Jelly - Works with “D” so that there are no “extra babies”.

Our Home - We built it three years ago and don’t plan on living anywhere else.

The Internet - We both spend a lot of time online.

Jewelry - His and her watches and our wedding rings are the only jewelry we regularly wear.

Our Wonderful Two Kids - Precious and irreplaceable but extremely expensive.

Living Large - How we hope to be living some day in the future. See “K” above.

Mr. Do! - The video game we were playing when we first met.

Nearsighted - We both need corrective lenses but California Girl usually wears contacts.

Ohio - Where we live.

Our Swimming Pool - We get in it almost every day in the six months that it is open in the summer.

Quilt Covered Bed - Our favorite piece of furniture. See “S” below.

Running - How we attempt to contain the ravages of age.

Sex - Our favorite pastime. Enough said.

Twenty-two Years - How long we have known each other.

Uninhibited - Anyone crazy enough to illustrate a list like this.

Venus USA - Where California Girl gets all of her swimwear.

Work - California Girl works at home. Midwestern City Boy works in a microscopic 7′x7′ “office” in a cube farm.

Xmas 1985 - When we got engaged.

Y2K - Midwestern City Boy worked like an animal in the late 1990s fixing Y2K bugs. How we could afford “H.”

Zero - The number of ex-husbands and ex-wives we have.


