The ABCs of Married In Ohio
Age of Mythology: The Titans Expansion – Our favorite computer game.
Braless boobs – California Girl’s usual state.
Cunnilingus – Oral sex for California Girl.
Diaphragm – A primitive, evil but necessary device.
Electronic Gadgets – If it has a microprocessor and runs on electricity, Midwestern City Boy has it or wants it.
Fellatio – Oral sex for Midwestern City Boy.
Gynol II Contraceptive Jelly – Works with “D” so that there are no “extra babies”.
Our Home – We built it three years ago and don’t plan on living anywhere else.
The Internet – We both spend a lot of time online.
Jewelry – His and her watches and our wedding rings are the only jewelry we regularly wear.
Our Wonderful Two Kids – Precious and irreplaceable but extremely expensive.
Living Large – How we hope to be living some day in the future. See “K” above.
Mr. Do! – The video game we were playing when we first met.
Nearsighted – We both need corrective lenses but California Girl usually wears contacts.
Ohio – Where we live.
Our Swimming Pool – We get in it almost every day in the six months that it is open in the summer.
Quilt Covered Bed – Our favorite piece of furniture. See “S” below.
Running – How we attempt to contain the ravages of age.
Sex – Our favorite pastime. Enough said.
Twenty-two Years – How long we have known each other.
Uninhibited – Anyone crazy enough to illustrate a list like this.
Venus USA – Where California Girl gets all of her swimwear.
Work – California Girl works at home. Midwestern City Boy works in a microscopic 7′x7′ “office” in a cube farm.
Xmas 1985 – When we got engaged.
Y2K – Midwestern City Boy worked like an animal in the late 1990s fixing Y2K bugs. How we could afford “H.”
Zero – The number of ex-husbands and ex-wives we have.
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