Married In Ohio

Recently, The Girl gave California Girl several sweaters that were too small for her. Up until now, it’s been the other way around. Aren’t mothers usually bigger than their daughters? It seems strange seeing California Girl in clothes that The Girl used to wear. It really emphasizes the fact that the kids are growing up. They’ve been almost the same size for a while - I usually get them the same size premiums at road races; but t-shirts and sweatshirts are not the same as regular clothes. The Boy and I do not have the same body type, so even though he is taller than I am, there was never a time I could wear his clothes (or the other way around). California Girl and The Girl don’t have the same body dimensions either; but, depending on the style, women’s clothes can be more forgiving. I wonder what will be the next thing to change hands, and in which direction. If anyone has older kids and this is something that has happened to you, we’d love to know your thoughts.

That’s how far away The Boy will be when he goes off to college. Everything came together last week and his college plans are finalized. I’m happy that goes going to the college of his choice; but sad to see him making plans leave home. That’s about a 4 hour drive for me if I make good time; so we will be able to visit him periodically. But, it’s not the same as living at home. And, since The Girl usually has soccer games on weekends in the fall we won’t be visit him much at all. It could be “worse”. He could be going to college on the other side of the country and only come home over breaks. He’ll be able to come home for long weekends since he’s in easy driving distance.

I haven’t forgotten all of the positives. In today’s economy, college is very important. It doesn’t guarantee anything; but having a college degree is better than not having one. It gives him four more years to learn and grow without having to face the hard, unforgiving world in which we live. And, if he gets good grades, it can pave the way to a good first job after college. Plus, it’s a great reward for working so hard in high school. We often blog about how well the kids have done in sports. But they both know that high schools sports are just for fun. And that academic excellence is far more important than being a good athlete. I’m going to miss watching him compete when wrestling season is over. But I know that he will still be competing and excelling in the classroom.

As we zoom toward the day that California Girl and I will be taking The Boy off to school, we can’t help but think about how quiet it will be in the house with only one kid. The kids are only two years apart, and The Girl learned to talk at a very young age, so most of the past 15 years has been filed with their conversations. As any parent will attest, a four year old has some very interesting conversations with a two year old. Some of our fondest memories are of the kids talking to each other. When they were small babies every day was a grand adventure and they took great pleasure in the simplest things. I’ll never forget some of the conversations they had as they explored the bags from the grocery store.

They were inseparable as they grew and went through their elementary school days. I often said, for example, that it was like having the mind of a five year old with the size and manual dexterity of a seven year old. Whatever they did, they always did together. Some days were very trying but I still wouldn’t trade them for anything. Nowadays, they talk about the teams that they play on or other things (e.g. teachers and fellow students) from school. They’ve been doing a lot together, even for them. California Girl and I get the feeling that they‘re both starting to realize that their days together are almost over. The Girl is very, very unlikely to go to the came college as The Boy, so this coming August is a new chapter for everyone.

It’s hard for us to believe; but one day soon, I’m going to take The Girl to the bureau of motor vehicles to get her temporary learner’s permit. Someday in the not too distant future she’ll be driving. And, not to long after that, she’ll be getting ready to go off to college. I know that it’s still two years away; but The Boy’s sophomore year doesn’t seem like that long ago. I think that she’ll be a good driver. It’s just when your youngest is about to start driving they don’t seem like kids anymore. I know it will make things more convenient. And cut down on some of the late nights that I have been having. But it’s forcing us to face the fact that our kids aren’t really kids.

Guest_2189 asked in the shoutbox “Have you and your wife thought about what you would say to your kids if they found your blog?” The shoutbox has a 500 character limit so I though I would answer that question here. We supervise and monitor what the kids do both in real life and virtually; so the chance of it happening is very remote. But, the question wasn’t about the likelyhood of it happening but how we would react if it did.

The photographs make it unmistakable; but I don’t think it’s a big secret that we are having sex. I’m sure they assumed as much already since our bedroom is, and has always been, off limits to them. I wouldn’t make too big of a deal of it. We’re married and nothing we do is illegal, or even out of the ordinary. Look at all of the birth control supplies in the aisles of a typical grocery store.Both kids have a certain degree of freedom and privacy with their on-line activities, cell phones, etc. I would expect them to understand them just because they find and canaccess something doesn’t mean that they should.

California Girl and I could review their “private” spaces and activities much more strictly if we wanted to. Privacy in a family is based upon trust rather than ironclad preventative measures. For example, a closed bedroom door means stay out. Even if the privacy lock is activated, it’s trivially easy to circumvent. Or, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I could easily intercept anyone’s email since I manage the mail server. But just because I can doesn’t mean that I should and do. The same principle applies to them. If we wanted them to read our blog, we would have given them the address. We didn’t so that means stay out. Besides, adult-oriented web sites are clearly off limits for them. I think I would be more likely to focus on why they weren’t following the rules to begin with.

Something that has always mystified me is why the creation or viewing of risqué photographs (by adults) is such a notable event anyway. We all know what boobs look like already. And it really isn’t too hard to visualize a woman sucking her guy’s dick. Or how their respective parts fit together. I’m not saying that taking and posting photographs isn’t fun. It’s something that California Girl and I both enjoy. But are our unadulterated naughty bits that hard to picture? Besides, don’t the majority of people have a SO with whom you can do more than look who is more than willing to get naked for them? Photographs of naked bodies shouldn’t be such a big deal, even if their having sex. I hope that someday they won’t be.

P.S. Tomorrow is Election Day. Everyone please remember to go and vote for the candidates and issues of their choice.