As I sat in the car watching The Girl’s soccer practice wondering what California Girl and I are going to do for our late night photography session I was struck by how much children change the time couples spend together. Despite our best efforts, we couldn’t arrange to be in the same location until well after dark. When it’s just you and your spouse, it’s easy to do things together whenever you want. Once kids come along, everything changes.
When they are babies, their schedule influences everything from when we sleep to when eat to we have sex. You can’t go anywhere if they are taking a nap. And, when you’re out and about with them, you can’t stay too long because you need to go home before they become cranky and over-tired.
As they get older, their activities (sports, dance/music lessons, etc) influence when you can do things. There is a never ending succession of practices, games, and recitals. Unlike when you were just a twosome, you really have to plan for some “just the two of us time”. I know more than one couple that is so busy being mom and dad that they forget how to be husband and wife.
We love kids. (In fact, I might try and convince California Girl to have some more while the plumbing is still working.) But they really change the dynamics of being a couple. Our Tuesday photo session is something that we both look forward to and something we try hard to preserve. But sometimes, as much as we try, our schedules don’t align.
It’s not just the sex. It’s more like to having to break a date. Being able to spend time together is not something that we take for granted like we did in olden times (before kids). So we don’t like it when we have to reschedule. We’re not just married. We’ve got a connection with each other. And doing things for and with each other is how we keep it strong.
Update: California Girl is home now. We’re going to feed the kids and go take some pictures. We’ll let everyone know what we decided. Thanks for all of your suggestions.
Update #2: Our photo session was rained out.
We drove around for a while hoping the storm would let up but it was not to be.