Married In Ohio

I wasn’t really thinking much about it as it happened; but I realized when I was reflecting on things during my run earlier today that California Girl and I had sex four times on Tuesday. Once in the morning before I left for work. Once in an unnamed outdoor location to be revealed in our next HNT post. Once at the conclusion of our Two For Tuesday photo session. And once when we went to bed Tuesday night. Three or four times would not be extremely rare for us for us for a Saturday; nut it’s a lot for a weekday that I spent a full day at work. That’s one of the reasons that I like participating in Half Nekkid Thursday. Having a regularly scheduled weekday photo session encourages us to slow down, relax and take some times for ourselves. And have some fun sex at a time when we might not do so otherwise.

California Girl’s watch died over the weekend. I’m almost certain that it’s the battery which is a nuisance since it has to be special ordered directly from Seiko. I’d like to get her a nice new watch; but, since we have his and hers watches, I’ll probably just get another battery. It was supposed to last 5 years; but, both this one and the original one lasted for less than half of that. If we had known beforehand that a replacement battery would be so hard to find, we would have never purchased the set. Unlike hers, my watch is still running on the original battery.

We like to have matching stuff. It’s kind of a trademark of ours. We don’t overdo it; but we do like jewelry and other accessories that remind us of each other. For example, we always have coordinating costumes at Halloween. If anyone has suggestions for a nice coordinated set of his and hers watches we’d love to hear them. We don’t want to spend too much money; but we’d really like a matched pair. After the “fun” we have had with batteries, we’re thinking that we would like to have automatic (self-winding) movements. And, or course enough water resistance so that we can swim in them. (It gives us a funny tan, so we don’t usually wear them in the pool; but, sometimes we do need to know the time). The only thing I can say is our next set of watches will not be Seikos.

Other than the battery being such an annoyance, we really like the watches. They keep very accurate time and are perpetual calendar models so we only have to adjust them when changing to or from daylight savings time. Even though they only display the date, they “know” what month and year it is and adjust the date accordingly. It’s a good idea; but poor execution. I guess the same could be said about many things.

We’ve got clocks all over the house; and we’ve always got our cell phones with us; so we don’t really need a watch to know the time; but it’s a touch of elegance that we like share. I’ve always thought that timepieces were symbolic of relationships. Hopefully we’ll be able to find something that is a suitable remembrance of ours.

As we zoom toward the day that California Girl and I will be taking The Boy off to school, we can’t help but think about how quiet it will be in the house with only one kid. The kids are only two years apart, and The Girl learned to talk at a very young age, so most of the past 15 years has been filed with their conversations. As any parent will attest, a four year old has some very interesting conversations with a two year old. Some of our fondest memories are of the kids talking to each other. When they were small babies every day was a grand adventure and they took great pleasure in the simplest things. I’ll never forget some of the conversations they had as they explored the bags from the grocery store.

They were inseparable as they grew and went through their elementary school days. I often said, for example, that it was like having the mind of a five year old with the size and manual dexterity of a seven year old. Whatever they did, they always did together. Some days were very trying but I still wouldn’t trade them for anything. Nowadays, they talk about the teams that they play on or other things (e.g. teachers and fellow students) from school. They’ve been doing a lot together, even for them. California Girl and I get the feeling that they‘re both starting to realize that their days together are almost over. The Girl is very, very unlikely to go to the came college as The Boy, so this coming August is a new chapter for everyone.

Thighs-n-Eyez commented in the shoutbox:

I love you both! May I ask why you didn’t get married before you lived together? Also, what made you want to get married to CG, MCB after you guys were already living together?

We decide to respond in a post since the answer is more than 500 characters.

Even when we had separate places, we didn’t spend very much time apart, so, it didn’t seem to make very much sense to do anything else. It seemed almost like “hedging or bet” which wasn’t how either of us felt. Plus, neither set of parent’s approved off our relationship, so a wedding which is typically for family and friends was difficult to arrange. Everyone wants their wedding to be special, and we were no different, so, even though it was something that we expected, it was very frustrating. In a way, because our relationship was so controversial, we didn’t receive a lot of pressure from our parents to “do the right thing”. And, remember, by the mid to late 1980’s living together had lost the stigma that it once had and was becoming much more widespread, especially for people of our generation.

We got married because we both like having a spouse. There is a sense of commitment and permanence that living together doesn’t have. It may just have been in our minds; but it was important to us. I liked the idea of proposing and trying to make a special moment to California Girl. We like having an anniversary to celebrate. Unlike a lot of men, I always wear my wedding band, probably even at times that I shouldn’t. We ended up having a small wedding; but it’s still part of our shared history together. We like to focus on the positive; but were a lot of external things gong on that made our life much more difficult. We’ve always made our own way without muchany help. In, fact, I was just mentioning to California Girl about an event that happened around that time that I consider a watershed moment in my personal history. We make decisions more for ourselves and each other than almost anyone that you will ever meet. We wanted to get married so we did.

Now that the holidays are over, we’ve been having a hard time getting back into the swing of things. After a fabulous vacation, it’s hard to wake up and follow our normal schedule. And, our next day off seems very, very far away. Sometimes, I wish we took some time off for spring break like the kids do. We’ve had much the same vacation schedule for many years; so we’re used to a “flat spot” in early January; but, for some reason, this year is much harder than usual. Perhaps it’s because of the long hours at work before the break. Or maybe is because it’s the last Christmas with The Boy. We aren’t sure what the reason is; but, our energy level isn’t what it normally is. Winter has only just begun and we’re longing for the lazy days of summer.

January
HNT was suspended for a week.
I finished a major milestone on a project I was doing at work so I came home early and made a movie to celebrate. It’s funny how sex helps us celebrate our victories and drown our sorrows.

February
Celebrated the two year anniversary of Married In Ohio.
The Boy’s wrestling team won the league championship. The Girl scored a hat trick (three goals) in soccer for the first time in years. California Girl and I really enjoy kids that are good athletes and good students.

March
Got a new car. Discovered it was good for other things besides transportation.
Posted our first and only book review.

April
Watched one of the darkest days unfold on a college campus in recent memory.
Got out and about (for sex) for the first time in the new vehicle.

May
Had some fun both inside and outside of the car.

June
More sex in the great outdoors.

Married In Ohio was offline for four days while we were on vacation and enjoying life in the 3-D world.
Went over 1,000,000 visitors.

July
California Girl started completely shaving her pubic hair.

We were able to get in the pool and relax over the long Fourth of July Weekend.

August
It really started to sink in how The Boy’s final year in high school is a series of highs and lows.
My favorite view of California Girl.

September
We’ll always be Bengals fans regardless of their record.

Had a reason to do the Snoopy dance.

October
Watched The Boy win some iron in cross country as well as run his final cross country race.
Changed to an even shorter hairstyle.

November
Sparked quite a bit of discussion in comments and emails with our Have We Thought… post.
Posted our first higher quality video.

December

Didn’t have sex under the Christmas tree this year but had a wonderful substitute.

Made a digital photo frame (Flash slide show) of many of the year’s Two for Tuesday photographs.

Our Two For Tuesday and Half Naked Thursday posts, or more specifically the photo session in which we take the pictures for those posts are one of our favorite things we like to do; especially when life (work, kids/school, etc.) gets hectic. Many weeks, it’s the only time we know we can get together during the week. We realize how important it is to set aside time for each other, and we try to do so at other times; but sometimes, that is hard to do. The structure of having a scheduled mid-week photo session ensures that we slow down and forget about life for awhile on a regular basis at least once through the work week.

Often times, when I get home after retrieving the kids from practice, California Girl is already in the bedroom getting ready. Even if we’re not doing anything overly elaborate and just staying around the house, I appreciate her eagerness. Despite the distractions of daily life, balancing work and family, we’ve been participating for over two years. As I’ve said before, the finished products (the photographs) are secondary. For us, the fun is the photo session itself. And, for me, the enthusiasm with which California Girl approaches the photo sessions is a revitalizing, no matter what else is happening.

Even after all of these years, I am still amazed how energizing spending time with California Girl is for me. I’m the “high energy” person; but she really helps me recharge. When I’m droopy, she winds me up, and when I’m agitated she (usually) calms me down. I would never have thought that something as simple as her getting ready for our photo sessions would be to significant. We always say that our children are connected together at the hip. I guess that, in a way, we are too.

P.S. As you probably surmised, we’ve had our photo session for this week. Our Two For Tuesday post will be up shortly.

As I sat in the car watching The Girl’s soccer practice wondering what California Girl and I are going to do for our late night photography session I was struck by how much children change the time couples spend together. Despite our best efforts, we couldn’t arrange to be in the same location until well after dark. When it’s just you and your spouse, it’s easy to do things together whenever you want. Once kids come along, everything changes.

When they are babies, their schedule influences everything from when we sleep to when eat to we have sex. You can’t go anywhere if they are taking a nap. And, when you’re out and about with them, you can’t stay too long because you need to go home before they become cranky and over-tired.

As they get older, their activities (sports, dance/music lessons, etc) influence when you can do things. There is a never ending succession of practices, games, and recitals. Unlike when you were just a twosome, you really have to plan for some “just the two of us time”. I know more than one couple that is so busy being mom and dad that they forget how to be husband and wife.

We love kids. (In fact, I might try and convince California Girl to have some more while the plumbing is still working.) But they really change the dynamics of being a couple. Our Tuesday photo session is something that we both look forward to and something we try hard to preserve. But sometimes, as much as we try, our schedules don’t align.

It’s not just the sex. It’s more like to having to break a date. Being able to spend time together is not something that we take for granted like we did in olden times (before kids). So we don’t like it when we have to reschedule. We’re not just married. We’ve got a connection with each other. And doing things for and with each other is how we keep it strong.

Update: California Girl is home now. We’re going to feed the kids and go take some pictures. We’ll let everyone know what we decided. Thanks for all of your suggestions.

Update #2: Our photo session was rained out. We drove around for a while hoping the storm would let up but it was not to be.

It’s been a long time since we did a photo post; probably because it’s been a long time since we were home alone for any length of time. Since we already had our camera handy when we were in Cincinnati this part Saturday Night, we though that we would take some new pictures. It’s not something we planned or we would have asked for a room on an outside corridor so we could use the cityscape as a background. Besides we were much more interested in the sex anyway. This past weekend was about renewing our connection so these photographs would be much better if you could see our facial expressions. Hopefully, they still capture the essence of our weekend away together.

One of the things that is great about California Girl is how cool, calm and collected she is. Right when we were in the middle of things, somebody, presumably someone who worked at the hotel, knocked on the door. Rather than let that spoil the mood, we told them that we were busy and to go away and kept going about or business. So, the interruption was very brief and quickly forgotten; especially since she kept the rhythm. In retrospect, we probably should have made a movie. That would have made a great soundtrack.

According to Hotwire the hotel was 4½ stars. Although their rankings tend to overstate the quality of places they do business with it was still very nice. The room was large with French doors leading to a balcony overlooking the lobby and restaurant. It was a great place for a weekend getaway. We hope you enjoy sharing our mini-vacation with us.

You can find all of the pictures here.

The kids, especially The Boy, have been very busy with their sports and other activities this spring. So busy, in fact that when they do have free time, all they want to do is stay home and unwind. As a result, it has been a long time since they were both away at the same time and California Girl and I have had the house all to ourselves. We really needed some time away by ourselves since we have not been home alone recently. We finally had some time this weekend. Sort of. We spent Saturday night at a nice hotel in downtown Cincinnati. The only problem was that we had to get up and run a road race on Sunday.

California Girl and I have what is becoming a long standing tradition of running in the Cincinnati Flying Pig Half-Marathon. Some years, the weather has been miserable but this year the weather was just about perfect. In fact, the whole weekend was perfect. For once, the girl was not playing soccer on Saturday so we arrived in plenty of time to check in to our hotel and go over to the expo to pick up our packets. It was warm so we went everywhere on foot. There was an hour and a half wait at the restaurant that we wanted to eat at so we went back to the room and had some fabulous sex. The balcony to our room overlooked the atrium so it’s a good thing that there was a band playing in the restaurant. Afterwards, we lounged around the room for a bit and went to eat dinner.

On Sunday, we got up, ran a half-marathon, went back to the room, showered up, and had more fantastic sex. It was time to get up and check-out almost before we knew it. I don’t want to minimize the race. 13.1 miles is a long way. But the weekend is as much about going away and doing something together as it is about running. We can run in a race anytime. But getting away from it all is much more elusive. We were away less than 24 hours (including the time that we were running) but it was still very rejuvenating. With the kids as busy as they are, the logistics of getting away for a weekend are almost impossible. We’ve been able to do it every year as “planned” but we never know until the last minute if we’re going to be able to make things work or not.

It’s things like this that renew us as a couple. Time away coupled with competition and liberal doses of sex is the perfect counterbalance to the hectic pace of our springtime lifestyle. Walking around Fountain Square on a warm spring night. Eating a quiet dinner while we talk about “adult things”. Crossing the finish line side by side after a good run. It’s no wonder that we put the queen size bed in our hotel room to good use. Our only regret is that we can’t have more weekends like this. But the uncommonness is probably what makes it so special.

P.S. For those long time readers who remember what happened last year: Yes, I remember my running shorts.