A Frustrated Shopper
What do you get for the man who has (almost) everything and doesn’t like anything that he doesn’t purchase or select himself? I knew what I was going to get California Girl months ago, and have had the kids’ “Santa” gifts identified since before Thanksgiving. I found gifts for everyone else in our extended family without a lot of searching; but I was completely stumped trying to find something suitable for my father. We don’t talk much; and, when we do, it’s not about substantive things. So, I don’t know what he really wants/needs. Plus, he almost resents it when you upgrade or add to things he considers in his domain. For example, it was over a year before he opened the box to the DVD player we gave him and my mother a few years ago before we knew better. It’s almost getting to the point that I’m going to just get him a gift card and be done with it. Of course, if I did, it would probably end up expiring. Can you sense my frustration?
I feel your pain. My late grandfather was famous for buying himself something he “needed” (a new fishing rod or reel, a new weedeater, etc) a week before his birthday or father’s day. If we also got him that item, ours would have to be exchanged for something else (but what?). Or if we waited til closer to the occasion to see what he bought for himself, we still had to come up with another idea. Complaining didn’t help–he just did what he wanted.
Mountain Girl: I finally found a couple of gifts for him but it was hard. I’m certain that he could use them; but I’m not sure that he will. He’s got his own way of doing things even if there are easier ones. My mom got him a GPS recently. He told her the exact model he wanted as well as which store he preferred she purchase it from. With that much guidance; it was only marginally a gift; but at least it was something that he could use.
No fun, I was going to suggest a gift card but your expiration point is valid.
Viemoira: I like gift cards if I can find a good establishment. I gave California Girl one to a ladies salon/spa years ago and she still goes there. My dad, however, doesn’t even go out to eat, so it would need to be to someplace generic.
How about this year giving your dad something a bit different – not some material gift (which you’re not sure he’ll use and/or appreciate) but rather offer him your personal services in some way? In our home, my wife’s old laptop finally died so our techie son offered to go out, select, purchase a brand new desktop computer for her, set it up, and install all the software goodies – all in time for Christmas. Of course I paid the bills but he did all the labor so the gift to her was really from both of us. Is your dad into computers in any way? Maybe you could set him up with something that he’d really enjoy playing with? If not that then some other techie toy. Old folks don’t always enjoy having to learn the techie installation details but just want to dive right in and play!
Rob: Sadly, things like that don’t work for my dad. I’ve had a difficult time explaining to him that you can’t just put an old hard drive in a new computer and expect it miraculously recognize the new hardware. So he wouldn’t have an appreciation for my effort. My mom would love something like that; but learned long ago that it offends my dad if he isn’t her sole technical resource; even if it deals with something that he’s not knowledgeable/interested in. If it wouldn’t cause problems, I would built and set up a brand new system for them at my expense. Unfortunately, with my dad, almost everything is a turf war.