What’s The Big Deal?
People with tattoos and body piercings came up during a discussion I was having with a few of my coworkers a couple of weeks ago. I know that I work in a “square” office; but I was still surprised at some of the negative comments I heard. It’s what people are on the inside that matters, especially in the workplace. And to be intolerant of someone just because of the way they look is wrong. I haven’t exactly been a trailblazer; but, many times, I’ve been the only black person in my organization. So, I know what it’s like to have all eyes on you. Everyone is different. And it’s wrong to think less of people because of superficial differences. It seems that the more we become accepting of some things, the more we find other things to dislike. I’m glad that most of the people I know both in real life and in blog land are open-minded and non-judgmental. I just wish more of the world was.
Sorry I can’t agree with all you say. We tolerate more and more and people demand more and more of us. A waitress or waiter that has 5 pounds of stainless protruding from his or her face, ears, eyes, and tongue is the most unappetizing thing in the world as well as servers that have claw like nails. Hygiene issues aside the youth of today are mutilation themselves to make a statement. I take issue with that in the same way my dad would not tolerate “Rock” or long hair. I too work in a place with people with a very narrow mind concerning even your beautiful marriage to CG as well as having zero tolerance to Gay, lesbian, Cross-dressing, Bi or transsexual issues. I can only name a couple of CEO’s that wear jeans to a board meeting and have long hair. But the “afro” tie-dyed “Peace now” generation we grew up in had to conform to a normalcy in order to be employed.
Most of what you say I agree with. I don’t like tattoos. Body piecings I just don’t understand. It has nothing to do with the people with them, just personal preferences I guess. So many young people get tattoos and don’t know what they are getting into. I guess I am old enough to know what they look like in 40 years, ussually pretty gross. There is enough pain in the world without self inflicted pain.
I know that isn’t why you made the comments.
I agree with your basic philosophy but wanted to point out that some of us don’t like tattoos and body piecings just because we don’t like them, not the people who have them.
I don’t think it’s right to be intolerant of how someone looks but when you choose to change something about your appearance then you have to expect that some people may have problems with it. I’ve got a few tattoos and piercings but all of them can be covered easily so I don’t have to deal with that sort of thing if I don’t want to.
I never had the desire to get a tattoo because I was afraid it would hurt. Actually fear of pain and hatred of vomiting probably spared my parents a rough few years when I was a teenager. Anyway, I agree that it is so wrong to judge people based on apparence. Perhaps one day tolerance will spread through out the real world as it does in blogland.
Carolina Jim and Wife: We’ll probably agree to disagree on this one. There are a lot of clean cut people who are completely incompetent. And I’m not talking about my experiences as customer, I’m talking about coworkers. The fact that people have to conform to advance their careers is the problem. The higher you get up the ladder, the harder it is to conform. I believe that whatever people do when they are not on company time is their own business. I don’t care what people can do with their bodies, they can either do the job or they can’t. And, frankly, I tired of the “old boy network” and the glass ceiling that accompanies it and the incompetence that it perpetuates.
Jerry: I think that, to a certain degree, worrying about what will happen years from now is part of the problem. We as a society have become so forward looking that we forget about the present. So, there is friction whenever we encounter young people who are more concerned with the present. Remember when bleach blond hair was considered trampy? Now it’s completely acceptable. Life is to short to judge people or be judged.
Chickie: My problem is people that would think of you differently if they saw you in a “locker room” setting. It wouldn’t matter that they didn’t show in normal business attire. Once they would have seen them they would treat you differently in the future. How you are at work would not have changed, but they would still have a negative viewpoint based on their newly discovered information.
Naughty Girl: I don’t have any tattoos or piercing which is why I was involved in the conversation. And, I have to say that it reminds me of some of the things I heard about white people from people who did not know I was part of a mixed marriage.
When my husband died I got a tattoo in memory of him. The following year I got another one because the first one looked so cool. Last year on my birthday I did it again. All of my tattoos are placed in places that only an intimate encounter would know about, still I absolutely have no regrets. I am 55 by the way. It’s never too late to do the things you have had a longing to do regardless of judgement!
P.S. Surprisingly it does not hurt… it feels like a sunburn when finished and heals quite quickly if tended to properly.
S: That is a very carrying thing to do in the memory of your husband. I’m sure that he is smiling down upon you. It is never too late to do things; but, unlike you, many people don’t realize that something isn’t such a bad idea until much later if at all. From what you say, the ends result was worth the minor discomfort. Sometimes, people focus to much on the negative and not enough on the positive.
So interesting that you just posted about this, because I am struggling with this topic currently. As I think I’ve mentioned, I’m young and I’ll be starting my first professional job in a very traditionally “boys club” field in the fall. I have several piercings, but the only visible one other than my ears is my nose. I have a very small colored stud in it that I think looks very tasteful (not at all scary or dirty!). I have managed to get through a few years of internships in this field wearing it with only one comment from a boss that I couldn’t wear it when I met with clients because it might scare old ladies (his words).
So the question now is, do I take it out or not? I love it and it is what I’ve seen in the mirror for the last five years. My new boss has no “dress code” because it is a small office, and he hasn’t mentioned it. I’m tempted to leave it in and only remove it for clients and court, but I don’t want others in my field to view me as unprofessional (especially because I am young and a woman). Such a hard choice, to have to choose between something you love and fear of a poor first impression.
I have also really been tempted to get a tattoo on my (inner) wrist this summer. I have resisted in the past because of the same reason–what will coworkers think?–but I feel like it is pretty easily concealed in formal situations by a suit coat or watch/bracelet. I love tattoos and I think they are a great way to memorialize events in your life. My father gets a new tattoo for almost every vacation or significant event in his life, and you can see the story of his life on his body. I love that. (And honestly, when I’m 60 and saggy I’m not trying to look hot anyways so who cares if I have a saggy tattoo?).
Anyways– probably more thought than you wanted on the topic but you caught me at just the right time!
AlwaysCurious: Since you are “young” I think that you leave it in. Not to make a “statement” so much as do you really want to spend the next 45-50 years letting work define you. There are companies/organizations that are hip and places that are square. We spend almost half of our waking hours at work. So, it needs to be someplace that you “fit”. Times change. I’m old enough to remember when people could smoke at their desks. Nowadays, at most companies, smoking is restricted to a few outside areas. Anyway, my point is that things fall into and out of favor but, we shouldn’t have to give them up. You’ll be able to tell if a small nose stud is a “career limiting move” and adjust accordingly by taking it out or finding a more open minded organization. The days where you get a job and keep it until you retire are gone. You will probably have many, many jobs in your professionally career. “Fitting in” isn’t usually an issue early in a career. It gets harder to do as you get father along. “Boys clubs” are still alive and well at many places in many career fields and that will probably be a much bigger obstacle.