HNT - 143
We don’t talk about it much but a lot of people predicted gloom and doom for our marriage because of the mixed race thing. It’s a lot more common today than it was twenty years ago. Even now, we occasionally receive an obnoxious comment from someone who doesn’t mind interracial sex; but has a problem with interracial marriage. So, our theme for today is “yes, we are still married”. California Girl’s wedding band is featured prominently in the photographs. We hope you enjoy them. And, if not, and you can eat the “rock” you’re living under.
For happiness regardless of what other people think talk to significant other. To find out what Half Nekkid Thursday is all about, visit Osbasso.
May 29th, 2008 at 3:57 am
Lol. I’d like to say I can’t believe that people would still make obnoxious comments about that… but I can believe it because people suck. =D Happy HNT!
May 29th, 2008 at 5:58 am
So sorry that you still have to be dealing with this ridiculous crap! BUT, we do not have control over other people’s behaviour. Too bad that.
I am in a mixed race (my husband hates hates hates those words ‘mixed and race’, he asks ‘what race?’)
marriage. I am black, husband is white European. I live in Europe and no one has ever publicly commented to us. His parents though……..hateful hateful racists……..I have no contact with them and in fact early in our marriage I decided that them being such hateful racists should have black(mixed race) grandchildren. I decided that I wasn’t going anywhere and my husband being an only child….so they have 3 beautiful black (mixed race) grandchildren, and are never going to get any OTHER grandchildren…LOL…the power of the womb!
We have been married for 32 years, we got married quite young, just when we were legally able to. It is a marriage that was meant to be, and perfectly so, and no one was going to take it apart.
I am sure people talk, but people will talk, so what! As long as they keep their comments to themselves. I am also sure that no one expected it to last this long.
I once did a course and the Sociology Professor(black woman) was distraught. Her daughter, was doing a post graduate course at Princeton, met a white German (many black Germans here) and got married. She was telling me that they did everything they could (within reason of course) to prevent or delay the marriage. But they had no control. Both were adult people. She said her daughter visited Germany and was well received by his family…….a little education goes a long way…..my in-laws are uneducated ignoramouses…..
I said “Professor So and So, these marriages are perfectly normal relationships between two people who share common interests and love, the problems with such marriages, as I saw it, was from the ‘outside’ other people who want to make it ‘wrong’” She said nothing else.
Funny, she and her hubby were very involved in the black power movement in the USA ( don’t know if they were racists) but funny that her daughter went off and married a white German.
Keep on doing exactly what you are doing, it is the right thing to do.
May 29th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
We are fortunately to have not received any such emails, although that may change if the traffic to our blog continues to increase. It baffles us to think that some people believe that certain races are good enough for sex but not good enough for marriage. However, that dynamic seems to be behind some white ladies who are married to white men but enjoy having sex with black men.
May 29th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I, too, am sorry you still have to deal with that kind of crap.
But I have to ask: you call that talking? My, my … I must ask my other half for a chat soon!
May 29th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Never under estimate racism is this world.
May 29th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
I hope to someday have a marriage as strong and loving as yours…
by the way- gorgeous ring! love it!
xxx
-E
May 29th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
WTF? People don’t mind interracial sex but have problems with interracial marriage? Not only is that a crummy attitude to have - isn’t it a wee bit hypocritical?
Love the photos! I always take my rings off now before sex. We had a couple of unfortunate instances where Sweety got scratched with them.
May 29th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
It really is a shame that this type of thinking is still alive out there. And I’ve said it lately, but it bares saying again…congratulations on the marriage!
May 30th, 2008 at 6:49 am
Put any remarks like that down to plain envy. Most people would give anything to have a marriage like yours and the loving sexual relationship you share. Happy HNT (Belated).
May 30th, 2008 at 7:32 am
Skin color is just…..skin color. It doesn’t change who a person is inside. It is a shame people can’t realize that. Makes me crazy. I’m sorry you guys still have to deal with ignorant people.
May 30th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
These days, when it’s harder than ever to find the “right” person, and when there are so many “potential” Mr./Ms. Rights out there, WHY oh WHY limit yourself to some narrow (minded) “us vs. them” mentality??!! Look how many “perfectly matched” couples wind up with relationships/marriages in the crapper before the novelty has even worn off yet? I had an interracial relationship that didn’t work for reasons that had NOTHING to do with race, and am now in an “inter-religious” one with it’s own challenges… But whether we do or don’t last, it goes A LOT deeper than these “superficial” (not really, but yes…) differences. Good luck and keep on keeping on….!
I love your blog!
Valerie
May 31st, 2008 at 5:06 am
Amorous Rocker: I’m not surprised. Just disappointed that people have some much hatred in their heart. And are willing to share it so easily. Twenty years ago, I had hoped that we would be beyond that stage by now.
Gemma: This is a great story. I hesitated to but these words with this post; but after reading your comment I am glad that I did. Personally have met more black racist than the other way around. We don’t expect everyone to be highly evolved; but are glad to know that you and your husband have thrived in the face of adversity.
Greg & Sheryl: I think the fact that we have kids; drives people to comment when they otherwise wouldn’t. It fact, some people consider us to be bad parents because we do have children and are subjecting them to the “trauma” of being biracial.
Ro: don’t be sorry. Bit does bother us as much as it saddens us that not all parts of society are enlightened so long after the 60s. BTW: We “talk” like that a lot.
Jerry: We don’t. It’s just weird that people are so proud of being racist.
Corporate Slut: Everybody has to get started somewhere. Twenty years ago, we were idealist newlyweds just like a lot of other people. (May is a popular month for weddings.) For us, the flame just never went out. I’m glad that you like California Girls rings. I picked them out myself. I think it’s more have the ring when you are proposing; than to pick one out together later. It was more stressful since I had to hope that she would say yes; and that she would like the diamond. I’m probably too much of a romantic.
Chickie: Yes, you have it exactly right. They would be happier if we were actors rather than “real” people. You would think that they would think it would be worse to engage in interracial sex for its entertainment value or for money but they don’t. We keep our rings on all the time. Except during California Girl’s period, we don’t hop up immediately to clean ourselves up, so we like keeping them on. Besides I have so many strange injuries from sex that one less wouldn’t make much of a difference.
Naughty Girl: our sentiments exactly. A good woman (or man) is hard to find. So we shouldn’t put superficial conditions on the people we do encounter. Thanks again for the congratulations.
Lapis Ruber: We attribute them to plain bigotry. Having a blog like this we’re not naive enough to expect to be left alone. But we have received some “interesting” emails even for a NSFW blog. Happy HNT to you.
Michelle: It is not unexpected. We knew that we would have to deal with people like that from time to time. Things have gotten better over the years. But they haven’t improved as much as we thought.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
Marriage is tough no matter what color anyone is. I know so many people around here who get divorced.
So once again, congratulations on all those years!
June 5th, 2008 at 3:18 am
Kate: You are so right. It’s so hard to find someone with whom we can lie a lifetime with, the superficial really doesn’t matter. One good thing is that we’ve met so many people who have passed judgment so we don’t really care what other people think which is very empowering. Probably one of the reasons that California Girl hasn’t worn a bra for most of those 20 years.