A Couple of Thoughts
President’s Day would be one of my favorite holidays if I ever got the day off. California Girl is always off and spends it with the kids. I don’t begrudge her some “Mom time” with the kids. I know the both spend plenty of time with them both alone and together. It just sounds like so much fun that I wish I could be there. I think it’s great that we all still have fun together and haven’t become fragmented even though the kids are older.
The Boy was remarking recently that we could come visit him on Saturdays in the fall and still make it home in time for The Girl’s soccer games later that evening. He didn’t say it with a sense of entitlement; he knows it’s a long way. But, since we’ve always made it a point to attend his (and his sister’s) activities even if it required driving hundreds of miles. So he naturally assumed that we’d visit him frequently. Honestly, I’m not sure how often to visit. My parents didn’t visit much which further strained an already tenuous relationship. On one hand we’d think that as long as he’s interested in talking and spending time with us “old folks” that we should. On the other we don’t want him to spread his wings and not be tethered to the nest.
Everything is different… for college kids and for parents. Not sure my mother visited me more than twice when I was in college. I drove up just for my kid’s 20th birthday… for the day. We parent different, and college is so fun to visit these days. Kids are actually proud to show off their new life and the dorm food… I mean, res dining is 10 times better than the crap we had to eat. It will be as fun for you and CG (and The Girl) to visit as it will be for The Boy to have you visit. Trust me.
I think as long as he is inviting you to see him that it would be okay and not keeping him from spreading his wings. I think it’s sweet that he’s given it thought!
RedheadEditor: My parent’s didn’t visit me much either. I guess we’ll have to feel our way along. I’m sure his priorities will change when he gets a girlfriend there anyway. We’re telling him to focus on his studies; but things like that usually fall on deaf ears when it comes to the opposite sex.
Chickie: That’s what we were thinking too at first. But we’re still a bit conflicted. We also want for him to enjoy his college days since we all know what happens next…Work.
lol…his thought process will change when he gets to college…lol…Mom and Dad will become the last thing on this mind…lol.
No need to worry about things now, he has all summer to change his mind…lol.
SirMike: I’m certain we’ll be come less important; but we’ve been a foursome for so long it will be an adjustment for everyone, including him. There’s always plenty of time to do things on your own. But families don’t have nearly as long when they are all together.
As you know I don’t have any kids, but it wasn’t so long ago that I started college (2002). In retrospect, I think my parents handled it very well. I was excited/nervous about going away to school, but I think my parents knew that I have a tendency to cling to familiar surroundings.
I was not very happy when I first got to college and begged my parents to come get me to spend a weekend at home or at least come see me for a day. They held a very firm 6 week rule. For the first 6 weeks I was on my own so I could have time to adjust and explore. After that they pretty much followed my wishes and their schedule…. although by that point I was pretty happy there and only saw them about once every month or two anyways. Sometimes parents know best what kids need
AlwaysCurious: I haven’t missed one of The Boy’s sporting events since he was very small. So He’ll certainly be expecting me to come cheer him on if he runs cross country. It’s something that we’ve done for so long I’d hate to stop supporting when he’s in college. Especially the first time he puts on the uniform. He’s probably a bit too clingy; but we all are. We’ve done some many things together for so long that it’s hard not to be. So, I’m thinking that we’ll probably visit frequently during the fall sports season; then stay away until Thanksgiving. That way he can start getting used to being on his own; but still be able to enjoy the cross country season.