Have We Thought…
Guest_2189 asked in the shoutbox “Have you and your wife thought about what you would say to your kids if they found your blog?” The shoutbox has a 500 character limit so I though I would answer that question here. We supervise and monitor what the kids do both in real life and virtually; so the chance of it happening is very remote. But, the question wasn’t about the likelyhood of it happening but how we would react if it did.
The photographs make it unmistakable; but I don’t think it’s a big secret that we are having sex. I’m sure they assumed as much already since our bedroom is, and has always been, off limits to them. I wouldn’t make too big of a deal of it. We’re married and nothing we do is illegal, or even out of the ordinary. Look at all of the birth control supplies in the aisles of a typical grocery store.Both kids have a certain degree of freedom and privacy with their on-line activities, cell phones, etc. I would expect them to understand them just because they find and canaccess something doesn’t mean that they should.
California Girl and I could review their “private” spaces and activities much more strictly if we wanted to. Privacy in a family is based upon trust rather than ironclad preventative measures. For example, a closed bedroom door means stay out. Even if the privacy lock is activated, it’s trivially easy to circumvent. Or, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I could easily intercept anyone’s email since I manage the mail server. But just because I can doesn’t mean that I should and do. The same principle applies to them. If we wanted them to read our blog, we would have given them the address. We didn’t so that means stay out. Besides, adult-oriented web sites are clearly off limits for them. I think I would be more likely to focus on why they weren’t following the rules to begin with.
Something that has always mystified me is why the creation or viewing of risqué photographs (by adults) is such a notable event anyway. We all know what boobs look like already. And it really isn’t too hard to visualize a woman sucking her guy’s dick. Or how their respective parts fit together. I’m not saying that taking and posting photographs isn’t fun. It’s something that California Girl and I both enjoy. But are our unadulterated naughty bits that hard to picture? Besides, don’t the majority of people have a SO with whom you can do more than look who is more than willing to get naked for them? Photographs of naked bodies shouldn’t be such a big deal, even if their having sex. I hope that someday they won’t be.
P.S. Tomorrow is Election Day. Everyone please remember to go and vote for the candidates and issues of their choice.
Tags: Parenting, Philosophy, Q&A
November 6th, 2007 at 6:29 am
As a related question to your latest blog theme, rather than your kids discovering your blog, what if any of their friends, friends’ parents, their teachers or coaches, or other various family relatives discovered your blog, along with your quite recognizable pics? Any concerns as to the possible effect that might then befall your kids should word get back to them and people start gossiping? You and your wife might not be too concerned but your kids are now in their teens and as such are at an age to be more sensitive to the attitudes and actions of others. Agree?
November 6th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
I have often wondered how you would deal with your children finding your blog. On the one hand…it is okay for them to know that you have a healthy active sex life. On the other hand…would it weird them out that you have to show it off in public via this blog? We have kids around the age of yours…and I would never want to put them in that situation. I just think it would be awkward. And they may follow the rules..but who is to say their friends do…or the friends parents…or neighbors?? Maybe I worry too much…I can just imagine about a gazillion scenarios where this could just get ugly. And again…it is not the sex or the pics per se…because the pics I have seen are pretty tame…but just the idea of who might see them.
November 7th, 2007 at 10:43 am
>> And again…it is not the sex or the pics per se…because the pics I have seen are pretty tame…but just the idea of who might see them.
It really doesn’t matter as it’s all about them.
It would be way more than akward. It would be
devestating and confusing for those teens to see this blog.
We are supposed to be there to protect our children. This borders on child abuse. I would hope when you do your outdoor pix near the railroad tracks you are keeping an eye out for the teens that hang around there and party. I was one of those teens and know exactly where that location is. Shame on you.
November 7th, 2007 at 6:57 pm
IMO the last thing kids want to see is their parents naked. Even if they found the site, it seems like you guys have an open and honest relationship and I’m sure you’d discuss it and then end of issue.
November 8th, 2007 at 4:18 am
Rob: The unknown is always a worry, especially when it comes to the kids; but we try to keep everything into perspective. I’d like to think that our children are well-balanced teenagers, unaffected by the outside world. The reality, however, is that, like most kids their age, they’ve had to deal with people who disapprove of things that we consider “normal”. (And I’m not talking about things like this blog.) Even in the 21st century, it’s not possible to grow up as a bi-racial kid in Ohio and not encounter people who are, charitably speaking, less than kind to them because they don’t like what they represent.
Tracie: You never can worry too much when it comes to your children. But you can never make everyone happy. People resent us and/or the kids for a variety of things. Some don’t like that we live in a nice house. Some don’t like that they go to a private school. Some don’t like the fact that we got them cell phones when they were in elementary school. The list goes on and on. It’s wrong to criticize and ostracize children because of seemingly “non-controversial” decisions that their parents make; but incidents happen a lot more than they should. We can try to minimize and mitigate the frequency and severity; but society is too diverse for there never to any problems.
Some may say that we are creating a situation that could have easily been avoided by having this blog. Others will say that we caused the problem by having mixed kids in the first place. And still others will say that we caused a problem by getting married in racist and xenophobic community and we “should have known better”. Where do you draw the line? I have conversations with people who I truly believe were not bigoted who criticized us for having children because they “didn’t think society was ready for it” and it was selfish for us to have children because they would never be able to live a normal life. There are always extreme viewpoints that are sincerely held that history will show to be misguided. To be clear, I am not calling you an extremist. I am only saying one persons black and white is another person’s gray.
Mia222: Would it make a difference if we didn’t have any kids? Do you really think that all of the NC-17 content available on the web was made by people without any children? The only difference between this blog and many similar ones is that we are honest about our family situation, (i.e. the fact that we have children). Don’t condemn us because we have kids. The bottom line is that no children (ours or anyone else’s) should be viewing this site or any other adults-only material available on the internet.
Please be assured that California Girl and I only engage in adult activities when there aren’t any children around. It certainly would be wrong to do otherwise.
Michelle: I think you’re right about kids not wanting to see there parents naked. They are probably much more interested in the latest celebrities. If it did come to their attention, I’m sure that they would bring it up and we would talk about it and move on. We don’t have as much influence over them as we would like. (What parent does?) But they usually listen to us and do what we tell them.