More Than Mom & Dad
As I sat in the car watching The Girl’s soccer practice wondering what California Girl and I are going to do for our late night photography session I was struck by how much children change the time couples spend together. Despite our best efforts, we couldn’t arrange to be in the same location until well after dark. When it’s just you and your spouse, it’s easy to do things together whenever you want. Once kids come along, everything changes.
When they are babies, their schedule influences everything from when we sleep to when eat to we have sex. You can’t go anywhere if they are taking a nap. And, when you’re out and about with them, you can’t stay too long because you need to go home before they become cranky and over-tired.
As they get older, their activities (sports, dance/music lessons, etc) influence when you can do things. There is a never ending succession of practices, games, and recitals. Unlike when you were just a twosome, you really have to plan for some “just the two of us time”. I know more than one couple that is so busy being mom and dad that they forget how to be husband and wife.
We love kids. (In fact, I might try and convince California Girl to have some more while the plumbing is still working.) But they really change the dynamics of being a couple. Our Tuesday photo session is something that we both look forward to and something we try hard to preserve. But sometimes, as much as we try, our schedules don’t align.
It’s not just the sex. It’s more like to having to break a date. Being able to spend time together is not something that we take for granted like we did in olden times (before kids). So we don’t like it when we have to reschedule. We’re not just married. We’ve got a connection with each other. And doing things for and with each other is how we keep it strong.
Update: California Girl is home now. We’re going to feed the kids and go take some pictures. We’ll let everyone know what we decided. Thanks for all of your suggestions.
Update #2: Our photo session was rained out. 
We drove around for a while hoping the storm would let up but it was not to be.
May 16th, 2007 at 10:15 am
It’s fantastic how you talk about your loving life. I enjoy so much to see you in pictures, more than words. Thank you. Keep loving.
May 16th, 2007 at 9:43 pm
In a wet t-shirt would have been nice
You convinced me to push for more couple time even if I’m tired from a day with the kids. So far, it’s working! Jeff says thanks - he’s been getting a lot more blow jobs these days LOL
May 16th, 2007 at 11:07 pm
“I know more than one couple that is so busy being mom and dad that they forget how to be husband and wife”
I once let my children consume me, now I make time for my husband everyday. I just wish I had learned sooner.
May 17th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
IV: Thank you for your kind words. It’s always good to know that our blog is appreciated. We plan to keep loving and keep posting.
Michelle: It’s kind of a cliché but we will try and take a wet t-shirt shot the next time we get home after being caught in the rain. Usually it’s a mad rush for the shower.
I am glad that you are getting more couple time. I know it’s hard to do; but once you get used to it, you’ll wonder how you ever survived before. Tell Jeff he is welcome and that I hope he is enjoying all his blow jobs.
Kitty: We wish we had learned that lesson sooner too. We really had some not so fun days when the children were younger. Balance is important but we were so focused on providing everything for the kids and not making the same mistakes our parents did that we didn’t think about us as a couple until it was almost too late. It was a long and painful journey to get back to where we were. In hind sight it would have been much easier if we had never left.
May 18th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
You two rock. It is too late for me. I am in the middle of a divorce after 27 years because we forgot how to be husband and wife. Once the kids left for college we had nothing in common. That will never happen to you two. Wish I had known years ago that the best parent you can be is to be a good spouse/partner.
May 18th, 2007 at 9:12 pm
Redheadeditor: Thanks. I am sorry to hear that you are getting divorced after 27 years. You always hate to see a long lasting marriage fail. We know hard it is to balance kids and a spouse.
May 19th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
Might be cliche…but I was thinking with the rain and stuff, it would have been an appropriate shot for the conditions. Especially with no bra in the way! And I know you’ve mentioned you like looking at her breasts :)))
May 22nd, 2007 at 1:33 am
Michelle: We’re actually more likely to do a wet t-shirt shot in the pool (once they kids are out of school and not spending so much time around the house). The water is much warmer. And that’s not something that the neighbors would complain/call the police about.
We got out this weekend; but we really want to be home alone so that we can “swing from the chandeliers”.