Married In Ohio

Several people have asked what California Girl and I do to try and keep things fresh so I thought I would list ten things that came to mind. This is what works for us. YMMV. The list is in no particular order, its total stream of consciousness. I’m sure that I have omitted one or more things that are probably more significant. I may add them to the list if I think about it when they pop into my head.

1. The bedroom is off limits to the kids. Period.
   Mom and dad need to have a place where they can be husband and wife. It really puts a damper on things if kids are coming in and out or sleeping in the same bed. It was an adjustment for the kids when we started doing this but nowadays, they won’t even know on the door except in extreme cases. (Like one day last week when I overslept and they were going to be late for school if they didn’t wake me up.)
2. We don’t wear pajamas or other night clothes.
   This used to be the rule rather than the exception when it was the two of us. Then the kids came along and California Girl started wearing pajamas. Despite the fact that they are relatively easy to remove, they proved to be much more problematical than she envisioned. Ultimately we went back to the way that things used to be pre-kids and the PJs went into the trash. We keep a couple of nice terry cloth robes from Lands’ End handy for those occasions when we get have to go into another room.
3. Saturday morning sex.
   This is something that we have always done even before we realized it was a tradition. When the kids were younger, California Girl would take them to their Saturday morning activities then come back and get in bed with me. And for the last two months or so, my schedule has been: Take the boy to high school so that he can ride the bus with his teammates to his cross country meet. Come home and spend an hour or so “entertaining” California Girl. Get back into the car and drive to wherever The Boy’s meet happened to be. Sometimes, when the children were small, Saturday would be the only time that our schedules aligned and we weren’t completely exhausted the entire week. It wasn’t as often as we would have liked but it was still something to look forward to. And a great stress reliever.
4. We take showers together.
   This is another one of those things that we did when we were younger that we have continued to do. It’s not as efficient as taking showers separately but it’s a lot more fun. We can only do it on weekends during the winter but during the summer and on vacation, we do it almost every day. Just like the bedroom being off limits, the kids think that it is perfectly normal. I know once The Girl told my mom that “they are taking a shower” when she called for us but she has never said anything to me about it.
5. We have sex during the day or in the morning.
   This was something that we used to do when we first met but gradually it turned into a nighttime thing. That is not the best time when you’re frazzled after a long day at work or chasing the kids around. Now we give each other our best (in the morning) if possible. And look for opportunities to spend some time together during the day. For example, if the Girl is playing in a soccer tournament, we often make use of the time between games. While she is washing her uniform and taking a shower, we’re “playing” grown up games in the master bedroom. I wonder a bit what the other parents think when we get back out to the field, especially on those occasions when we miscalculate the time and don’t have the opportunity to freshen up as much as we would like. We wouldn’t stop doing it but we do wonder.
6. We don’t “waste” nights out by always doing things with friends.
   I can always go out with the guys and California Girl can always go out with the girls. It was much harder for us to get out together when the children were smaller. So, on the rare occasions when we had a baby sitter, we either cut the night short and spent some time by ourselves or didn’t get together with friends at all. It’s important to maintain friendships but your spouse is your most important friend. We weren’t being anti social but we did want some time out of the house for just the two of us.
7. We are adventurous in the bedroom when we do get together.
   I won’t say much about this. This means different things to different people. For some, anal sex or sex during the woman’s period is living on the edge. For others, its business as usual. One thing I will say is that after many years of using a diaphragm as our primary method of birth control, I relish those occasions where we don’t have to worry about dripping in the wrong place at the wrong time of the month.
8. We invent new traditions.
   We don’t always do the same thing every day/week/month/year. We add new things to our repertoire. For instance, today is Tuesday. Very shortly, we will be having our photograph session for Half Nekkid Thursday. Our photographs aren’t nearly as artistic as some. But we have a lot of fun taking them. What’s not to like when you start out half-naked (or more). Or back during the summer, I started going in later to work (we have flex time) so we could have sex and take a show together every morning. I got home later but there was still plenty of daylight left and it was a great way to start the day.
9. California Girl never wears a bra.
   This is a little sexy and a little slutty which is the whole point. It doesn’t take much to get my attention; a little bounce here a little jiggle there. Anyway, I still like the look despite the fact hat she has been doing it for a long time. It’s not the most conservative look but we care a lot more about what each other think than the nameless people we pass when we are out and about. And the only thing that made California Girl’s boobs change shape was pregnancy, childbirth and nursing babies.
10. We do things together even when we don’t have to.
    If we’re getting carry-out for dinner, we might both go to pick it up. It’s redundant but it harkens back to the days when we used to spend time together doing nothing in particular. I can remember California Girl accompanying me to pick up dinner back during our college days together. We also work out together when we can. We both really enjoy our weekend runs in the park. I can run much faster than California Girl but would much rather go for a relaxing jog at her pace and just talk and enjoy the scenery.