A BIG Dead Thing
I usually inspect the swimming pool every morning before I go to work but I was running late this morning due to some killer sex and had a meeting that I had to get to so I just jumped in my car and drove off.
I was in another meeting at 11:00 when my cell phone rang. It was my daughter calling to report that there was a big dead animal in the pool. “What is it?” I asked. “I don’t know but it’s big. Maybe it’s a raccoon.” “Did you go outside and look at it?” “No!” For her response I gathered that no one was going anywhere near it, so I decided to try and find out what it was. “How big is it?” I asked. “Really big,” was the reply. “Are you guys [meaning The Girl, her brother and California Girl] going to try and take it out?” “No. It’s too big. That’s why we called you.”
So I hopped in my car and went home. I immediately went around back to check things out. There was a very dead, very large raccoon at the bottom of the pool in the shallow end. I went inside, changed my clothes and enlisted California Girl to help. Rigor had already set in so it was difficult to maneuver but with some effort, I was able to scoop it up and dump it into the wheelbarrow. Yes it was that large. Much too big to heave in the vacant lot next door. So I wheeled it down to the end of the street, back into a field and dumped it at the edge of the woods in a section that is not yet being developed. (Plenty of empty space is one of the benefits of living in a plot where they are still building.) When I was done and got back home I used plenty of liquid shock to disinfect the pool and clean off the wheelbarrow.
Since it was already about lunch time and I felt like a shower anyway, I decided to go up to the park and run with California Girl. So it wasn’t all bad. I got to spend some time with California Girl and we enjoyed a luxurious shower together. Unfortunately, I still had to go back to work. Mercifully, the afternoon went quickly. That was good since I am really getting tired of fishing dead things out of the pool.
Comments
Comment from Chickie
Time August 7, 2005 at 1:49 am
It would be neat if you’d dress up one of your finds for us sometime.
I dressed up a dead beaver once with a helium balloon, cigarettes, a beer and an umbrella. You have no idea how heavy a waterlogged beaver is until you heft if by the feet.
No wonder the first marriage bit the dust.
Comment from Wanting More
Time August 7, 2005 at 3:55 pm
Yuck! A dead raccoon?!?!?!?!?! Those varments are ugly, dirty, and mean — glad it was in the pool dead and not out roaming around your house while you guys were outside. You must live in the boonies! Glad you got it out! 
Comment from Midwestern City Boy
Time August 8, 2005 at 11:09 pm
Kelly: I am REALL, REALLY tired of critters in the pool. I think all of the construction in areas that were previously un-developed has caused them to roam about more. I’ve had more this year then the previous two years combined.
Chickie: I was going to take a photograph of the carcass but it was so large and unsanitary looking, I wanted it out of the pool ASAP. And once it was out, I was too disgusted to do anything. And if the beaver was anything like this raccoon, I have a pretty good idea how heavy it was. And I sincerely hope I’m finished with dead things for the year.
Wanting More: Despite all the animals, I live in a suburban plot. Around her, raccoons are very urban animals. They mainly eat garbage and aren’t afraid of people. Judging from the size, this animal was old. We have coyotes around the neighborhood bit I don’t think they would have messed with this raccoon. His only enemy was himself. It’s amazing how many animals go by in the night even though I live in the ‘burbs.
Comment from Kelly
Time August 5, 2005 at 10:34 pm
Wow…you are going to have a pet cemetary by your house soon???